


again

by apocrypha_luxe



Series: take a torch to my defences [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Autumn Festival, M/M, Minor Anxiety, Minor Injuries, and love-drunk, beautiful boys are beautiful, broken furniture as collateral damage, i love you as dirty talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocrypha_luxe/pseuds/apocrypha_luxe
Summary: 'Oh fuck, Neji yeah.'He paused his fumble with the keys to grind their bodies together, cool night air licking over flushed skin, fever-heat chasing prickles in its wake.'The door, Shikamaru.'
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Nara Shikamaru
Series: take a torch to my defences [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663261
Comments: 17
Kudos: 75





	again

**Author's Note:**

> Part 6, hiding is hell, love is a forge, and there’s no way they could have been prepared for one another. Neji knows how to get what he wants and Shikamaru is obv very happy to oblige. 
> 
> \---
> 
> TW for a very, very brief, no-details mention of some past trauma of a sexual nature, and Shikamaru doing an A+ job of handling the feelings triggered by it.

'If you don't get this door open soon I'm just going to have you out here.'

The wicked growl scraped over Shikamaru's raw nerves, sent his stomach plummeting and his blood pressure soaring. _Fuck. Please._

'Promises promises.'

Neji shoved him up against the door as he kept fumbling with the lock, bit down on his shoulder through the thin fabric of his sweater and ground his hard cock against the cleft of Shikamaru's ass, hot and demanding and _gods yes._ Shikamaru lost his grip on the keys again as he moaned and pressed back into the wall of Neji's body. He'd been desperate at least half an hour ago, at this point he was barely coherent, drunk on touch, clutching hands and seeking lips burning him up, and as Neji's hands snaked downwards to unbutton his jeans Shikamaru thought he might just pass out before they made it inside. He groaned around words constricting his throat, swallowed down the urge to beg Neji to _yeah,_ just take him _here,_ bed be damned, outside suited them fine and _fuck_ he needed Neji closer and now now _now._ He sucked down a choppy breath as he tilted his head and sought Neji's lips, toed out of his sandals, kicking them aside to join Neji's abandoned on the veranda, managed to find Neji's mouth for a kiss as a clever hand pressed inside the confines of his jeans, palming his cock over his underwear and stroking. 

'Oh _fuck,_ Neji _yeah.'_

He paused his fumble with the keys to grind their bodies together, cool night air licking over flushed skin, fever-heat chasing prickles in its wake. 

'The door, Shikamaru.'

He moaned as Neji sucked a bruise into the curve of his neck, the lock finally clicking over and the door swinging open, tumbling them inside in a mess of limbs. Neji's hands left his body long enough to slam the door shut and push Shikamaru back up against it, then he was grabbing at Shikamaru's sweater and yanking it over his head, crowding him, kissing him, hands exploring, demanding, seeking. Being wanted like this, with an intensity that was so damn _honest_ it made his head spin, was like being perpetually a little drunk. The world hazy at the edges and every nerve ending lit up. Desire and love and this wicked hunger in every touch, in every glance, all of it simmering just beneath the surface of every single moment that passed between them. No one had ever wanted him with such unabashed _need_ as Neji did.

Shikamaru let his eyes wander as Neji trailed kisses down his throat, sucked another bruise into the slope of his shoulder, into the sweeping muscles of his chest. His gaze lingered on every line and curve of the man holding him, the way his body shifted and swayed to keep them close, and not for the first time tonight he felt himself lost for words at the sight of him. 

The festival had been wonderful, a sea of colour and paper lanterns, laughter and music and delicious food. A little too much sake perhaps, and sticky dango that weren't half as sweet as the kiss he stole from Neji in the dark of a quiet alleyway, shadows called up to obscure them from passers-by. The celebrations had been going on all day but the nighttime leant a magic that made everything feel dreamlike. When he'd spotted Neji through the crowd, finally joining their group as the sun had set and making his way closer in a manner that would have been inconspicuous if he hadn't been the most beautiful thing in sight, eyes locked tight on Shikamaru, the mass of people just parting for him like a wave, Shikamaru's breath had stalled in his lungs and his knees had turned to jelly. 

Neji was always stunning, always a commanding presence, but tonight was on a whole different level. He'd been mythical. Appearing through the rolling shadows of twilight and dressed like time had misplaced a god from old folktales. Snow-pale skin framed by the cascade of his dark hair, jawline sharp as a blade, the column of his throat practically begging for Shikamaru's bruising lips. Lampglow caught and shimmered over him as he moved through the crowd with an otherworldly grace, radiating a bone-deep calm and a sensuality that felt like syrupy liquor and late night conversations and skin damp with desire. Shikamaru had wanted to reach out and touch, to kiss him, to run his fingers through the loose flowing mane of his hair and stroke his hands over that powerful body. He wanted to press close enough to admire every stitch of detail in the elegant clothes he wore, the shibori kimono draped over his body like a rainstorm, hakama as dark as nightshade, blue and blue and blue, lightning cutting through midnight skies and inky shadows and kiss-bitten bruises. Every delicate knot and fold that Neji's fingers had secured with practiced ease would be his to work loose later, a gift to unwrap, and the anticipation of it had made him quake. He wanted to hold him, to go to his knees in reverence, to tell the whole world _I love him, do you see? He is everything._

Shikamaru hadn't been able to take his eyes off him all night, their orbit close even when friends were distracting them, unable to resist the pull of him even when Choji had pointed out how obvious he was being, gentle caution in his words. He figured it didn't matter, no one would notice, they were all too busy watching Neji too. 

They'd slipped away as the sake had begun to flow a little heavier and the festivities had begun to grow a little louder, hidden in shadows as they'd stolen back into the privacy of the Nara forest. He'd pulled Neji into his arms the moment the treeline closed around them and kissed him until they were both breathless and aching, the journey back to his home slowed by growing desire until all Shikamaru could think about was getting Neji _closer closer closer,_ drowning in all this need over and over again. 

He set his hands to cup Neji's jaw, lifted his gaze. Those opal orbs sparked with fire, ripples of colour catching in the moonlight pouring through the windows, the deep pools of arousal-dark pupils simmering beneath those Hyūga clouds. Neji watched him back intently for a heartbeat that stretched out and froze, the long exhale of a star releasing its last breath before turning supernova. 

_'Shikamaru.'_

His heart stuttered, pulse tripping to echo the shiver in Neji's voice and Shikamaru was leaning in to take his mouth in a heated kiss. Time sped up again, hands grasping and clutching, Neji's body pressing close against him. Shikamaru shifted a hand down to the ties of the kimono, worked it open enough to slip eager fingers inside and stroke at warm skin, to thumb at a peaked nipple. Neji's moan was fucking glorious and Shikamaru felt like he was about to burst into flames. 

'I'm not exaggerating when I say if we aren't both naked in the next five minutes I might die.'

The growl against Shikamaru's neck felt a little like a laugh and Neji was reaching to tug his hitai-ate and cloth band from his brow, dropping them to the floor where Shikamaru's sweater lay discarded. Strong hands reached around to squeeze at his denim-clad ass, massaged down to the curve where his thighs began and before Shikamaru registered what was happening Neji had lifted him up and encouraged his legs to wrap tight around his hips. Shikamaru groaned long and deep, the sound torn from him and swallowed down by Neji's hungry kiss. He felt fragile like this. Small. Wrapped up in Neji's arms like he was weightless. He tensed, waited for the old sense of unease to kick in at being manhandled, for the past to gatecrash the present, but _fuck,_ the fear response wasn't coming, it just never seemed to with Neji, his brain sorting through the overwhelming sensory input and just wanting more of everything. He groaned again as Neji pulled him into a slow grind, felt himself relax entirely as Neji whispered against the shell of his ear, teeth catching at his earring in the way that always made him shiver. 

'Is this alright?' 

And _yeah,_ this is what it felt like to have a lover who never missed a thing. 

'Yeah, _fuck,_ yeah it's perfect.' 

He caught Neji's mouth again, lost himself in their kiss, the sweet press of lips and stroke of tongues and catch of teeth, breath warm and laced with the fading hint of sake and toffeed-sugar. Neji's grip on him stayed solid as he turned them away from the door and began to make his way towards the bedroom. He dug his fingers into the dense muscle of Neji's back, the fabric of the kimono slipping under his hands as he dragged up up up the notches of his spine. He pressed in a firm massage between the top of Neji's shoulder blades, sought his blind spot and barely had a moment to appreciate the sudden, blissful moan that it triggered before Neji was stumbling, balance lost for just a split second. 

Neji shifted sideways to regain his footing, clipping the leg of a table, and in what felt like slow motion a hurricane lamp teetered, toppled, careened towards the floor and exploded in a shower of glass and slick sweep of oil. 

Neji grunted in pain and tried to stop him from putting his feet down but it all happened too fast and too slow and… 

_'Fuck!'_

…glass shards sliced into his feet just as he realised his monumental stupidity. 

'Motherfucking _oww.'_

Neji's hand settled on his back as they both froze where they stood and the look he levelled at Shikamaru shifted rapidly through shock, concern, and exasperation. Shikamaru laughed in total agreement. _Nice one, genius._

'Okay, no one else ever hears about this, our reputations as great shinobi will never recover.'

Neji exhaled hard and smirked back at him, eyebrow raised. 

'To be fair, we were distracted.' 

Shikamaru glanced down at Neji's bare feet, watched a steady trickle of blood course over his ankle and drip onto the floor. He flexed his own feet and felt the sting of embedded glass, saw the way Neji held his weight through the heel of his bleeding foot and away from his toes. _Fantastic._

'First aid kit is in the kitchen.' 

Neji was watching him intently, a shimmer of hesitation passing through him, and Shikamaru cocked his head in question. 

'Your feet are worse than mine…'

And before Shikamaru could ask where that statement was leading Neji had swept him up in his arms like he was some fainting damsel and was pushing off from the floor in a chakra-fuelled lunge that had them clearing the shattered glass a heartbeat later. The landing was a little rough as Neji took the bulk of their combined weight through his uninjured foot, but Shikamaru barely noticed, all of his attention focused on the arms wrapped under his knees and around his back, holding him close to Neji's body. 

He felt that itch under his skin again as Neji carried him into the kitchen, the feeling of being small and weightless returning hot and sudden but softened around the edges this time. Neji was...changing things. Gently coaxing light into darker corners of his memory, offering up safety and warmth and passion where his instincts cautioned him to be alert for harm. He didn't have many regrets, but the few he did have cast long shadows. A pang of nausea twisted his gut, there and gone like a lightning strike as he took a steadying breath. _Memories, just memories now._ He forced himself to clear his head, to stay present. Every part of this, here, _now,_ with Neji, felt like tender offerings over and over again, Neji's focus zeroing in on all of his tells to _learn_ him, to _give._ Nothing was being stolen here. It was about as far away from threatening as you could get. It made sense. If anyone was gonna be soured by the idea of uninvited domination, of control, of _worse,_ stealing into intimacy it'd be Neji. Weeks of this had settled into his bones, a reinforcement like steel in his core that was letting him open up, and yeah Neji was leaning him, but maybe he was kinda learning himself too. 

He wrapped his arms tighter around Neji's neck, buried his face there and breathed him in until his head let him centre, hummed while he pressed teeth against the sweet line of Neji's collarbone. Neji slowly lowered him back to his feet by the sink and they eased their way down to the floor, both of them hissing as glass bit deeper. He could feel Neji watching him and squeezed at his neck, caught the nervous twitch and settled his hands back in his lap as he glanced over to where Neji was awkwardly shifting his injured foot, met Neji's gaze with an apologetic grimace. 

'I feel like an idiot. Sorry for startling you.'

Neji's soft laugh smoothed out the ragged corners of his anxiety, the smile that settled drawing a mirrored expression to Shikamaru's lips. 

'It's hard to object to being touched like that even with broken glass in my foot, honestly.'

Yeah, he didn't think he'd be forgetting the sound of Neji's response to his fingers pressing into that sensitive spot anytime soon. 

'I'll try to be more aware of our surroundings next time.'

Neji's smile turned knowing and a little filthy as he snagged the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth, gaze holding Shikamaru's steady. The drop in Shikamaru's stomach felt like genjutsu kicking in. 

‘And if I don’t want you thinking about anything other than my body on yours?’

That voice, dripping with heat and rough with gravel, buried hooks in the base of his spine and _pulled_ and Shikamaru was leaning over to steal another kiss. 

'Guess we better get used to some collateral damage then.' 

Neji hummed against his mouth, sucked at his lip, hand kneading at his thigh before pulling back and Shikamaru wanted to follow him, chase him down, but the sting of shattered glass kept flickering through his awareness and _yeah, okay._ He pulled the first aid kit from the cupboard behind him and retrieved tweezers, handing them over when he glanced up and realised Neji had activated the Byakugan. He was reaching for Shikamaru's foot and pulling it into his lap and Shikamaru felt his breath turn shallow. Something ached in his chest as Neji tugged free the shards and dropped them into a mug he'd pulled from the sink, attention focused, hand gently turning first one foot and then the other. As the last splinter came loose Neji glanced up, mouth turning up at the corner and dojutsu-clouded eyes travelling over Shikamaru's face, hand squeezing at his ankle, voice barely above a whisper. 

'Breathe, Shikamaru.'

And fuck, he hadn't realised he'd stopped until Neji prompted him, hadn't realised the tenderness in Neji's touch had stolen the air from his lungs. 

He folded his knees back under himself and reached to cup Neji's jaw, leant in and kissed him deep for a long moment, the Byakugan still blazing when Neji finally pulled away and opened his eyes again. He wondered how he looked through the filter of the dojutsu right now, heart hammering and breath catching. Shikamaru glanced down to Neji's bloody foot and felt Neji's attention flicker to his own injuries, picking up the tweezers again to tug free the solid shards buried in the soft skin below his toes. Shikamaru took gauze and a bottle of alcohol from the kit, soaked the cloth and ran it over the messy cut on Neji's ankle, the laceration thankfully shallow, turned his foot over and repeated the gentle strokes over the deeper punctures. He flinched as he gave his own injuries the same treatment, the sting of alcohol over a dozen small cuts its own particular variety of shitty pain. 

When he met Neji's gaze again the Byakugan had faded but the intensity in his expression remained and Shikamaru's pulse skipped. He crawled his way over to straddle Neji's lap, the skintight denim pulling taut with his spread thighs, open fly framing his rapidly renewing interest in their interrupted evening. Neji's hands stroked from his knees up to bracket his hips, crept back to slip into his pockets and squeeze at his ass. 

'These jeans are obscene, I was staring all night.' 

He dropped a kiss to Shikamaru's collarbone, to his neck, his jaw. 

'Do I have Ino to thank for them?' 

Shikamaru could hear the smile in his voice and he grinned, rocked his hips forward against Neji's stomach, buried his hands in the fall of his hair. 

'She's a menace, don't encourage her.'

He sought Neji's lips, licked into his mouth, teasing, breath falling shorter as the kiss drew out. 

'No more lamps between here and the bedroom. Just saying.'

Neji kissed him hard and in a dizzying flash of speed and strength was on his feet with Shikamaru back up in his arms, legs wrapping around his hips, a laugh tripping free from Shikamaru's lips and melting into a moan as Neji bit at his throat, worked a path up to his mouth as he slowly made his way to the bedroom. 

Their kiss barely broke even while Neji lowered them to the bed, knees landing heavy on the mattress, blanketing him as he lay Shikamaru down. The weight of Neji's body over his felt so good, and he let himself drift on the easy pleasure of it. The urgency that had flared between them gradually banked, the kiss Neji was pressing to his mouth turning to quiet breath and the gentle catch of lips. He pulled back a little and Shikamaru caught his gaze, reached to brush his hair behind his ear. 

'I couldn't take my eyes off you tonight. And not just your perfect ass.'

Neji caught his hand where he'd been stroking fingertips over Neji's neck, pressed a kiss to his wrist with a soft smile. 

'I wanted to touch you. Kiss you in front of everyone without any need for caution.'

Shikamaru cupped his cheek as he spoke and Neji leant into his hand. 

'I know every reason why we are keeping things quiet, but _gods,_ I just wanted to pull you to me tonight, hold you.'

A shivery kiss turned into Shikamaru's palm between words. 

'Tell you I love you without a care for who might hear.'

 _Fuck._ They'd only said those words a week before but since then Shikamaru felt like he wanted to shout them from the rooftops every single fucking day. Had wondered if it was just him. His heart gave a painful squeeze in his chest before thundering back into the slightly-too-fast rhythm that passed for normal these days. 

'I was thinking the same thing all night. It was torture.'

A smile curved his lips and Neji returned it, easy and gentle before pressing his brow to Shikamaru's temple, grazing his lips along his jaw. He wished they didn't have to hide. He'd watched Ino and Kiba tonight, casual touches and open affection, the occasional kiss that was just a little too dirty to be strictly appropriate in public, and it all just made his chest hurt with a longing to be able to relax like that with Neji. To be able to be impulsive when he wanted to touch, to let people see without it mattering, to be heckled by their friends in the way that meant everyone secretly loved that they were happy. Gods, he didn't think he'd ever even kissed someone in public, not really, not like that. Dirty kisses in dark clubs or tucked away in empty alleyways, sure, fun but meaningless, never with anyone that really _mattered._ And _wow,_ that was depressing. He sighed, and it came out a little more dramatic than he'd intended. 

'Fuck it, maybe we really should just storm the castle, rise up against the king. March into your uncle's rooms and tell him that's it, you're done, you've chosen me and they can all fuck off. We can ride off into the sunset. People will write tanka about us.'

Neji's laughter was bright and gorgeous as he drew back to stare down at Shikamaru, moonstone eyes glinting, smile an echo of the one still pulling insistently at Shikamaru's own lips. 

'I reckon we'd have about thirty seconds to get outta there while he was frozen with shock.'

More of that sparkling laughter and then Neji was kissing him, deep and fast, breaking away to trail his mouth down Shikamaru's neck. 

'It may be more like fifteen seconds, my uncle has rather enviable reflexes.'

Shikamaru groaned as Neji worked his way down and sucked a nipple between his lips, teasing it with his tongue. 

'No problem. You're forgetting how fast we are. We'll be long gone by the time he's picked his jaw up off the floor.'

Neji looked up and raised an eyebrow. 

'The broken lamp in your hallway would suggest we may currently be a little off our game.'

Those lips trailed hot over his chest, tongue like fire as he toyed with Shikamaru's other nipple. 

'To be fair, most of my blood was not in my brain earlier. When I'm not thinking about getting you into bed I'm a pretty good shinobi.'

Neji sucked a bruise into the curve of his ribs and Shikamaru's voice shook, blood fizzing in his veins. 

'Kinda having trouble remembering what it was like to not be constantly preoccupied with thoughts of you like, _ahhh fuck, yeah,_ like this though.'

He tangled his fingers in Neji's hair and arched under the attention being given to the vee of muscle trailing down his pelvis. Neji dropped a kiss below his navel, the flicker of tongue making him groan again, before climbing back up Shikamaru's body and draping himself over him, one hand propped up next to Shikamaru's shoulder so he could meet his gaze. 

'We seem to have discovered the fault in your plan then.'

He pulled Neji into another kiss, pushed down the bitter knowledge that for all their teasing, all their play, there was nothing they could actually do to change things right now. Confrontation would be a disaster, and weeks of contemplating a way forward for them hadn't made a path any clearer. Neji's clan would raise hell the moment this stopped being a secret, the moment they realised that this was more than a passing desire for midnight company. How were the pair of them meant to change generations of brutal tradition? How were they meant to sway the minds of people who thought they _owned_ Neji, that he owed them subservience, that he owed them _children?_ People who had a history of using their kin as shields, of taking lives as punishment for disobedience, were not likely to respond gently to discovering that the strongest of them for generations was refusing to play by the rules, was bowing out of the gene pool to settle down with a _man._

'Back to the drawing board then.'

It didn't land right, his tone was off and he knew Neji heard it the moment he stilled, drawing back to look at him, smile morphing into something tinged heavy with regret. 

'Shikamaru…'

He shook his head ever so slightly, there was nothing to be gained by dwelling on it now, and they didn't need melancholy sharing their bed tonight. Still… 

'I just. I would, you know? Joking aside, in a heartbeat I would. I'd walk in there and tell your whole clan that I love you and that if they dared to come for you I'd protect you with everything I have. That I love you and no one can touch that, not even the mighty Hyūga elders. Even if it solved nothing.'

Neji watched him for a long, quiet moment, fingers sweeping slowly over his brow, brushing loose hair away from his temple. 

'I know you would.'

A kiss that was more breath than lips, his name ghosting over his mouth on a whisper. 

_'Shikamaru…'_

The barest drag of lips up over his cheekbone, his temple, and then the slow swipe of tongue along the edge of his ear, teeth grazing. 

'You burn like forest-fire for me. Wild and bright and glorious. I think perhaps you might destroy them all, if it came to it.'

A kiss behind his ear and his pulse stumbled, eyes fluttering closed. 

'For now…'

Fingertips trailing from his jaw down his throat, hand spreading wide over his heart. 

'...we have all of this, and the battle can wait a little longer. Even if keeping this a secret may drive me mad in the meantime. Maybe I can't tell the world I love you, but I can tell _you.'_

Lips brushed a gentle smile over the corner of his mouth, calling him back from the edge of heavier thoughts with shivering breath. 

'I can _show_ you.'

A kiss, deep and sweet, stuttering over a shared moan as hips rolled together. Shikamaru felt dizzy, head spinning as arousal anchored his mind in his body, in the present, pushing away the urge to run ten steps ahead. He sucked Neji's lip between his own, bit down, licked over the sting and hummed. Neji was right, the battle could wait. In the meantime he'd hoard as many nights like this as he could. 

'I've been dying to undress you all night, let me?' 

Neji groaned, the sound catching on barely uttered words, _please, kami please,_ stole another kiss before pulling away and rising to his knees. Those hooks in Shikamaru's spine were tugging again, drawing him up, keeping him close to the sway of Neji's body. His fingertips connected with the deep, bared vee of Neji's chest where he'd tugged the kimono open earlier, and it didn't take much coaxing to spread the silk further and expose a little more pale skin, the temptation to press his mouth there too powerful to resist. He breathed him in, warm sandalwood and champaca lingering on his skin, the taste of him like sunlight on his tongue as he sucked a soft ruby into the curve of his pec. His fingers travelled down to the knot of the hakama low on Neji's waist, eased it loose, slowly, _slowly,_ let his knuckles linger at the feel of Neji's abdomen quivering with a shaky breath beneath his hands. Neji cradled the back of his skull as he pressed another kiss to his chest, worked his hair out of its topknot while Shikamaru freed ties and dragged the hakama down over Neji's hips. He let his hands wander, parting the kimono entirely until it hung from the peak of finely-boned shoulders, baring Neji to his hungry gaze. 

Shikamaru reached for him, kneaded at the corded muscle of his thighs, fingertips catching the edge of underwear as he stroked up and up and back, took handfuls of Neji's firm ass and squeezed. Neji's fingers carded through his hair, tugged gently, massaged at his tingling scalp where pressure had built from wearing his hair up all day and gods it felt amazing. He hummed around the pleasure of it, pressed into Neji's hands, his own continuing to map Neji's body, long sweeps down the back of his legs and slowly returning. Neji's hips swayed forward, gently rocking his granite-hard cock against Shikamaru's abs, the friction drawing a sigh from Neji's lips and sending ripples of heat up Shikamaru's spine. Just having Neji close like this was burning him up, the slow coaxing of arousal from these soft sparks into molten, ruinous flame was so addictive, feeling Neji come alive under his hands, knowing that it was his touch affecting Neji like this. Only his. Another shiver chased through him and he pressed his mouth back to Neji's chest, a kiss that feathered out into the brush of lips, the shaky exhale of breath, the soft swipe of tongue over a pebbled nipple. 

His fingertips teased along the seam of underwear at the top of Neji's thighs, traced up and down the valley of his ass, pressing in as Neji moaned softly and spread his legs a little wider, grazing the sensitive skin behind his balls, over his entrance. Another moan as he pressed a little firmer and this one Shikamaru was echoing, blood scorching through his veins, flushing his throat, need pooling hot and heavy. He glanced up to meet Neji's gaze, circled his fingers again. 

'You want me here?' 

His voice came out wrecked, thick and dark as his thoughts took a sharp turn into taking Neji apart. Neji's hands tightened in his hair when he grasped at the waistband of Neji's underwear and pulled it over his hips, pushed it down to join the hakama bunched low around his knees, hands quickly returning to palm his ass, spreading him, fingers seeking the tight furl of muscle and pressing. Neji rocked down against him and moaned low and filthy as he eased the tip of a finger inside his body. 

'Yeah? This what you want tonight?' 

His cock throbbed as his finger pressed a little deeper into tight heat, dry friction that he knew would be almost too much but Neji was swaying against his hand anyway, seeking more. 

_'Yes.'_

Neji's eyes had shuttered and his head listed to the side, lips parting around ragged breath as he met Shikamaru's movements. He crooked his finger, teased the pad of a second alongside it, felt the shiver it triggered pass through Neji's body. 

'Mmm yeah, come on, get some oil so I can do this properly.'

He slowly drew his fingers free, Neji's answering groan coloured with a little disappointment as Shikamaru moved his hands away, but then those moonstone eyes were gazing back down at him with so much heat and affection that he figured he was probably forgiven. Neji rocked up to his feet, a little unsteady, and Shikamaru leant back on his elbows to take in the view as Neji pushed his hakama and underwear off entirely and straightened up. The kimono slowly slid from his shoulders to pool on the floor, leaving him gloriously bare, hair draping over his shoulder in a spill of mahogany silk, hard cock curving between his legs, miles of pale skin and powerful muscle on display. Shikamaru wet his lips, _starving,_ palmed his own aching cock with a groan that had Neji flashing him a knowing smirk before turning his attention to the retrieval of oil. Shikamaru shook himself out of his reverie and lay back to wriggle out of his jeans and underwear, kicking them somewhere across the room as he tried to draw a proper breath into his lungs. 

The bed dipped as Neji returned, coaxed him further up to lay against the pillows. 

'I want you on your back.'

_Gods yes._

Neji rested a heavy hand on his chest and swung a leg over him, straddled his hips, cock dragging over his stomach as he leant in to kiss him. Neji rocked against him, every movement brushing his cock, the tease of it burning through him. A bite to his lip and then Neji was slowly rising up to his knees and shuffling a little further forward, uncapping the bottle and taking Shikamaru's hand in his, dripping oil over their tangled fingers and into the shallow cup of Shikamaru's palm. He vaguely registered the sound of the cap snapping closed as Neji rubbed their hands together, coating them, the slick, erotic drag of fingertips between the vee of his fingers pulling a moan from his lips. Oil trickled down his wrist as Neji guided his hand between his legs, and as he let go and reached back to wrap Shikamaru's cock in a loose, slick hold he had to remind himself to breathe. 

He slipped his fingers over sensitive skin, sought Neji's entrance and pushed in, one finger knuckle-deep in that tight heat with no resistance. Neji moaned, head tipping and back arching as Shikamaru worked him, quickly joining a second finger with the first.

'That's, _oh that's it Shikamaru,_ come on, open me up, _kami_ I need you there.'

Neji's voice tripped over the words, stumbled where he normally held himself eloquently steady, and Shikamaru wasn't ready for it, was never ready for it when Neji started to come undone for him like this. Started to beg. He drew his fingers shallow, pressed a third to join them, sunk back into the grip of Neji's body and hummed deep in his chest as Neji moaned. His cock twitched in slick fingers at the sound, Neji's hold on him distracted but still so good, the tease of thumb catching on his swollen head just enough to string him along, to keep his attention flickering between the beautiful sight above him and the burn building in his own body. The anticipation was killing him.

'That's enough, Shikamaru, just you now.'

It wasn't enough, not really, he knew Neji's body, knew a few more minutes and another finger would make the stretch easier.

'Are you sure?'

Neji rocked down hard against his fingers, a sound rumbling from his lips that was pure challenge, a rockslide tumble of dark, lusty things.

'Hmm. Do you want me to _beg_ for your cock? I _want_ you, want to feel you sinking into me before I'm quite ready. Want to stretch myself on you. Want to feel you buried _so deep_ I can almost _taste_ you on the back of my tongue.'

 _Oh fuck._

_'Please,_ Shikamaru, let me _have you.'_

Gods, Neji could have anything he wanted when he talked like that. 

'That was cheating.'

His voice was almost more breath than words. Neji was watching him, the victory smirk curving those full lips falling into an open-mouthed groan as Shikamaru tugged his fingers free, brushing Neji's hand away as he reached to grasp his own cock and lined himself up with Neji's slick entrance.

There were so many moments scorched into his memory of their nights together, all the ways they'd had each other and all the times Shikamaru would swear Neji couldn't possibly be more glorious, and then he'd be graced with a vision like this. Neji kneeling over him, a warm flush painting his chest, silky strands of his long hair clinging to his neck where sweat had begun to bead, bottom lip snagged between his teeth, hands holding himself open and eyelids shuttering as Shikamaru guided his cock into his waiting body, gravity gradually joining them, and he'd feel his lungs stall out behind his ribs. He could live a hundred lifetimes and never find himself this lucky again. 

He settled his hands on Neji's thighs as they both moaned through the intense pleasure, Neji sinking down in almost painfully slow increments, the tight clutch of him nearly too much. Moonstone eyes kept flickering, rolling back behind fluttering eyelids as he eased himself into Shikamaru's lap. With a long, shaking exhale he finally settled, gaze finding Shikamaru's again, hands grasping to tangle their fingers together. He watched a droplet of sweat wind its way down Neji's throat, wanted to chase it with his tongue.

'Gods you're beautiful.'

Kiss-bitten lips curved into a soft smile and Neji's gaze dropped away for a moment, fingers squeezing in Shikamaru's grip, a languid roll of hips as he looked back up the best kind of answer. _That's it, let me tell you, don't brush it off._ Neji rocked gently in his lap, the crest and fall of his movements enough to make stars flicker behind Shikamaru's eyelids, the quiet sounds of their panting breath setting a rhythm between their lungs. 

He bent his knees as Neji's body grew a little more relaxed around him, took him a little easier, dug his heels into the mattress and found purchase there to drive up, to meet Neji's downward movement and tear a litany of unrestrained pleasure from that ivory throat. 

Neji held his gaze as their bodies rocked together, the long minutes of unwavering eye contact tripping his pulse, stoking oxygen into the burn in his blood. He felt pinned in place, made of diamond, unbreakable, every facet of his being entirely transparent as Neji watched him, _saw_ him, _gave and gave and gave._

'So, you love me, hmm?' 

Neji's voice caught on a sigh as Shikamaru massaged at the lithe muscle of powerful thighs, felt them contract and release under his touch as Neji rose and sunk back down. He loved him more than words could do justice.

'I do.'

Moonstone eyes shuttered closed and the room seemed to grow a little darker, shadows a little thicker, Neji's body rolling in slow, hypnotic waves, voice spilling from his lips like silk catching and tearing against the grain. 

'Tell me.'

Shikamaru pressed his fingers deep, up, up, thumbs digging into hip bones. Holding on, moving with him. 

'I love you.'

Neji tilted his head to the side, pale throat bared, mouth curving into a gentle smile. 

_'Again.'_

Shikamaru's chest ached as that one little word stuttered, Neji's voice breaking softly. _Yeah, it sounds incredible to me too._ His tongue traced his lip, shaped words into prayer. 

'I love you.'

He stroked over Neji's hips, drew up goosebumps as he ghosted fingertips along the curve of Neji's ass, felt every shift of muscle under his hands and tight around his cock. 

'Again.'

Neji reached back to brace on Shikamaru's knees, back arching, moonlight dripping down his chest and licking silver over the curves of tight muscle and slivers of old scars, body moving slow, slow. 

'I love you.' 

He ran a hand up to rest on Neji's stomach, wrist brushing past his heavy, swollen cock eliciting a wanton moan that Shikamaru couldn't help but echo. 

_'Again,_ Shikamaru.'

The gasp that tore from him tumbled into desperate wreckage as Neji drew up, sunk down heavy, took him deep. Hands shifted to rest on Shikamaru's chest, body canting forward and eyes slipping open into waxing crescents, watching him, inviting him in, and Shikamaru was lost to it. The call of the deeper places Neji took him, the siren song of _them._ He wrapped his hands around Neji's wrists, fingertips over pulse points, held his gaze. His voice fell soft. 

'I love you.'

He traced the path of veins up the inside of his forearms, thumbs resting over the sensitive skin at the crease of his elbows, stroking feather-light. Neji's breath caught and Shikamaru needed to kiss him. 

_'I love you.'_

Hands gripped at powerful biceps and Neji let himself be tugged forward until their lips almost met, until Shikamaru could feed words onto his tongue. 

'I love you and I'll tell you a thousand times.'

Almost a kiss. Almost. 

'With words, with my body…'

He reached to frame Neji's face, fingertips brushing through silken hair as he cupped his jaw. 

'I'll tell you until you hear my silences and know it echoes there too.'

The soft graze of a whisper. 

'I love you.' 

Lips met, the kiss deep, shivering sweet through them both. Shikamaru's whole body trembled, the intensity of holding on and the weightlessness of falling sending his senses into overdrive. Neji pressed so close to him, rocked back to meet every steady, driving thrust of Shikamaru's hips, moaning against his lips as their pace gradually picked up. 

'Oh gods, _there, Shikamaru.'_

Neji clenched around him and galaxies burst bright behind his eyelids, a gasping sob falling from his lips and voice slurring, pleasure-drunk. 

'Fuck, _Neji,_ the way you _feel.'_

Tremors ran through his muscles, Neji's body gripping him so tight and hot, the hard drag of his cock against Shikamaru's stomach, the noises he was making as Shikamaru worked the angle of his thrusts, hitting deep, all of it layering into blinding sensation. He ran a hand down Neji's back, circled at the base of his spine, scraped blunt nails up up up on the return journey until his fingers brushed high between shoulder blades and Neji's breath stuttered. He grazed fingers over the sensitised spot again just to feel Neji shiver before pressing firm, tearing the most incredible moan from him, and _yeah, fuck,_ that's what he wanted. 

He kept up the massage as Neji tucked his face into the side of Shikamaru's neck, breath panting in broken, wet gasps against his overheated skin. 

'Mmm _yeah,_ that's it, let me hear you. _Fuck, Neji,_ wanna make you fly. Wanna make you come like this, my cock deep inside you and my fingers working you here.'

He pressed hard again into Neji's blind spot, took a little more of his weight as Neji's arms gave out. He gripped at Neji's hip and kept the stroking rhythm of his fingers erratic over those sensitive vertebra, not giving Neji a chance to find his balance. The ruined noises being gasped against his neck were all bleeding together, Neji's thighs starting to tremble, and Shikamaru ached to feel him let go. He changed up the angle of his thrusts until Neji keened, held that spot tight with his hips and called chakra into his fingertips, grazing, pressing hard. 

Neji moaned loud, the long, drawn out ecstasy of total oblivion as his body shook apart in Shikamaru's arms and he came in hot pulses between their stomachs. 

_'Yeah,_ yeah that's it. _Fucking beautiful.'_

Shikamaru held him close as he collapsed against him, pressed kisses to his temple, his brow. Neji's heart thundered in his chest, a wild drum beat that had Shikamaru's pulse hammering in riotous synchronicity. He took a moment to adjust his hold before rolling them, spreading Neji out on his back beneath him. He rocked his hips, stayed deep, cupped Neji's cheek to just watch him for a long moment, bliss-glazed eyes watching him right back. 

'Don't stop, let me feel you.'

Shikamaru hummed, leant in to kiss him deep and dirty as he built a rhythm again, let himself fall into the heat that surged from his core. He cinched their brows as his breath began to shatter, reached to hitch Neji's thigh up over his hip and held him there, plunged deep and rough into him again and again as Neji coaxed him towards the edge with clutching hands and needy, wordless sounds, desperate and ragged. Neji tangled a hand in his hair and tugged, Shikamaru meeting his scorching gaze just as he felt his balance begin to tip. 

'I love you too, Shikamaru. I want you to come for me now.' 

The final push, gentle words sending him into freefall, his orgasm crashing over him, a wrecked moan tearing from his throat as he plummeted beneath waves of pleasure. Neji caught him, held him through it, stopped him from drifting too far out to sea as aftershocks washed over him. 

He came back to himself in slow moments, a hand stroking through his hair, fingers tracing patterns low on his back, a steady pulse where his lips brushed Neji's throat. He began to shift his hips only to be pulled back in by Neji's calf against his thigh. 

'A little longer.'

Shikamaru settled down against his chest, pressed a kiss to his neck, hummed. He'd give Neji anything, _anything,_ would stay close as long as he wanted him there.

'I might fall asleep like this.'

Neji turned to capture his mouth and it was almost enough to distract him from the sheen in Neji's eyes. He broke from the kiss, dropped another to Neji's cheekbone, to a delicate eyelid as they fluttered closed. 

'Neji…'

Another to his brow, and the choked breath that followed drew his hand to trail fingers down Neji's jaw. Moonstone eyes met his, full of warmth and unshed salt and tender, amused things. Shikamaru traced his thumb along the upturned corner of Neji's mouth. 

'You asked once what it would take to mess me up. I think perhaps, in one sense at least, this is it. I love you, Shikamaru, you have all of me. I trust you with all of me. This is as close to utter ruination as I think it's possible for me to get.'

 _Gods. Yeah._ He knew the feeling. He’d spent weeks being buffeted by the storm behind his ribs, the deep, quenching rainfall and the wild weightlessness, the incredible peace at the heart of it. An elemental rebirth. 

'I'm right here with you Neji, right here. A total wreck.'

He smiled as Neji's lips curved up a little more, a quiet laugh slipping free as he considered what a pair they were. The sheer depth of his feelings, the understanding that Neji was equally as far gone. The knowledge that this was simultaneously the scariest and easiest thing he'd ever done, that maybe either of them had ever done. 

'A _total_ wreck.'

Neji pulled him into a kiss, echoing his soft huff of amusement as their lips brushed, arms wrapping a little tighter around him for long minutes as they let the kiss drift into a soft sharing of breath. He waited until Neji's leg loosened from his thigh before shifting free from the tight heat of his body and curling into his side, pulling Neji close and revelling in the way Neji tangled them together and dropped another kiss to his neck. 

Shikamaru breathed him in, held him, felt held. Seen and loved and all the more powerful for it. There were a thousand wordless things spinning through him, softening and reshaping him, strengthening him. 

If there really was a battle on the horizon, let it come. It would find him standing on the front lines a newly forged man. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ty to Ms T as always for yelling lovingly about my nonsense <3
> 
> \---
> 
> On tumblr as littleaccomplice if that’s your jam, and <3 is always appreciated here if you enjoyed this :)


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